Enough with the Drama

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." ~Proverbs 31:10-12 ESV

Recently, the word contentious popped into my spirit and although I am familiar with that word, I went to the dictionary to confirm what it meant. According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word contentious means likely to cause disagreement or argument. For years this was me. I wasn't just contentious, I had a contentious spirit. Can I be real?  I grew up around single-women who simply did not know how to be submissive.  Not that they were always contentious, but they simply did not know how to submit. Submit to what you may ask? Well, to be honest, submit to being a wife.  Being a wife (or a husband) is something that has to be learned.  It is something that takes time and effort.  And when you are contentious, constantly looking for an argument, constantly looking for a reason to complain or nag, you have to find out the root of why you are the way you are.  For me, as I stated before, I grew up around all women. My mother was single, my grandmother was single, my great-grandmother was single, and I did not see an example of how a woman is suppose to treat a man. 

So yes, while I was dating my husband, those flaws of "contentiousness" would surface, but he would look past it and we would go our separate ways since we were not living together.  However, when we married, that contentiousness came with a vengeance.  Now, he was not perfect, and neither is anyone's husband, but the question we need to ask is where is this contentious behavior coming from? Why am I nagging my spouse? Why am I always looking for an argument? Why do I always have to be right? For me: it took counseling, soul searching, and really dealing with why I was so angry. Part of it was because I did not know how to treat my husband and how to honor him, part of it was my young, immature attitude, and part of it was because my father was not present growing up, and I was angry. I was bitter inside. I had been abandoned.  But in order to be the wife I knew I wanted and needed to be, I had to deal with all the drama and stop making excuses and blaming everything on my husband.

So in closing, enough with the drama. Stop blaming your spouse for your bad behavior and seek out the root of why you are contentious.  It is so freeing to walk around knowing you don't have to be angry all the time.  Be free from this day forward.  After all, whom the Son sets free, is free indeed. (John 8: 36) The Amplified version says, "So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free." Did you hear that? That means you don't have to go around being a victim or a slave to your past. You can have peace knowing that you are the wife/husband God needs you to be for yourself and your spouse. Marriage is a journey, enjoy it!!