Do You Have a Keeper?



^"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof." -Proverbs 18:21 (KJV)

Now we all have our child hood dream of what we desire our husband or wife to look like, be like, and treat us like.  "They're gonna be tall, dark, and handsome." or "She's gonna have a coke-bottle-Jessica Rabbit-bangin-body." The list goes on and on and on.  So...then you meet your king or queen, fall madly in love, get married and ....BAM, reality begins to set.  This honeymoon phase takes a back seat to the realities of what marriage is - or shall I say "marriage maintenance" is all about.  Now before you read any further, this blog is 100% authentic and REAL...so if you can not handle that, close the page now.

Ok, so...you get married, the sex is amazing...and FREQUENT, the relationship is wonderful, you are madly in love and your spouse can do absolutely no wrong. But then you wake up one day and you find yourself sleeping next to a monster. What happened? All of a sudden, you are aware of things about your spouse you have never seen before. Guess what? They were there all along, you just chose to ignore them because that love bug had you totally oblivious to all of your boo's flaws.  The only problem is: what do you do now? I mean, you're married now.  You can't pack their bags and send them packing.  You've made a covenant, you are married!!

Well, for starters, you need to understand that marriage is not for the weak or the faint.  Marriage is for the determined and the fighter.  In fact, marriage will cause the fighter in you to rise up that you did not even know existed.  I can remember the beginning years of my marriage.  There were some things about my husband that I absolutely didn't think could change or get better.  I didn't know what to do about it or how to handle it.  But after seeking wise counsel, emphasis on wise, I learned that through prayer and love, God has a way of showing you your flaws while working on your spouses at the same time.  Now let me add this disclaimer.  I am a firm believer that there is absolutely nothing too hard for God. However, I am not a professional counselor and I don't want to confuse anyone so: if you are in an abusive  situation (of any kind) , I am not talking to you.  If you are in an adulterous situation and have sought wise counsel and worked on fixing your marriage but are repeatedly being cheated on, I am not talking to you.  I am talking to the spouse that knows they have a good man/woman and knows God is in the midst of your union, but your marriage is at a stage where the honeymoon is over and it's time to pull up your sleeves and fight! Fight for your happiness, peace, joy, sex life, so forth and so on! Let me let you in on a little secret: are you ready to hear it: MARRIAGE IS A LOT OF FUN!! The way God designed it: the sex is designed to be amazing, the conversation is supposed to be amazing, the finances are supposed to be amazing, raising your children (though it's a LOT of hard work) is supposed to be AMAZING! If you are reading this and you are miserable and think divorce is a better option, YOU ARE WRONG! Truth is, every single one of us have flaws.  If you back out now, trust that the next spouse will have a million plus one flaws. Instead of complaining about your spouse, love them, pray for them, and pick your battles.  Everything is  not worth an argument. Ok so she's not a size 6 anymore...or he's not as muscular as he once was! Get in the gym together! Love each other through whatever challenges you are facing. Seek wise counsel (emphasis on wise) if you have to.  Wise counsel is not your bff, your mama, your daddy, your co-worker, and it CERTAINLY is not that girl or guy that has been flirting with you on the side. 

The power of your words are EVERYTHING!! They can make or break (up) your happy home. So stop complaining and begin to affirm your man/woman.  If they have flaws you don't like, don't constantly nag about it, open your mouth and affirm what it is you know you desire them to be! I could go on and on so stay tuned, I will have a part 2 on this subject.

Happy Affirming :)